Your group is ready.

It was an interesting weekend to be sure. Thats probably why it has taken me nearly a week to digest it and spit out something resembling coherent thoughts. You may have noticed that I have not posted much about patch 3.3 or the new looking for dungeon feature.

Today, I change that.

So far my experience with the new tool has been a perfect storm of fun and frivolity with only the occasional asshat. I have run more heroics since the patch dropped than I have  in total since Wrath went live over a year ago. I am certainly not the only one either.

How do I know this you ask?

Well, I know not every server runs things the same way but there are a few common threads that I see. Things that tell me whether a person has spent a lot of time in groups. I am not saying that spending more time grouping makes you better, just that you will tend to have slightly different behaviors.

Take the worm tank here as an example.

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One of my groups, one that I ran all three new instances with I might add, was a complete hodge-podge. Five people from four different servers. The Death Knight tank was a little on the squishy side, but we were able to handle it. He did however have the talent for bloodworms.

They did for him exactly what they did for me. At the end of a combat they would sometimes decide they were still hungry and go start chomping on the next batch of mobs. As I said, the tank knew his job and did it well. The fact that he still uses worms led me to believe he has not grouped often though.

Over all a good grup and an enjoyable series of runs.

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Another group, the one that was my only real fail pug, was actually a guild run from another server. Three dps and a tank all guilded together ended up getting me to heal them through the russian roulette random pug system. They were about halfway through the second of the new instances, stuck on the boss that throws the hunks of saronite at the group. Apparently they were also on their third healer.

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The Paladin tank insisted on pulling at seemingly at random. Often charging in right after I finished resurrecting and rebuffing the group. Since I can’t be bothered to look at my screenshots right now we shall just call him “Pala-don’t!”  

 Oh, did I mention that I was the only one who ran from the graveyard? Not even the asshats who could rez would run back to help.

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The Rogue should have been named “likes to get cleaved”. On the plus side I quickly learned not to waste what little mana the tank would let me get by trying to heal said Rogue. Apparently she was using tissue paper armor and dual wielding butter knives. I actually think she got one shotted more often than I did. More than one fight she was down so fast my shadowfiend was ahead of her in damage.

Just picture a boss one shotting someone and then looking down and saying “Oh, my bad… I didn’t see you standing there”.

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Then we have the Mage who should have been named “likes to stand in bad stuff”. Yes you can put out awesome Dps as illustrated by you posting damage meters constantly, once during a boss fight. However quit whining about me not healing you when you stand in the glowing green crap.

As I told you when you called me out on it. My priorities are as follows. Me, the tank, the Druid, You, then the Rogue. The Rogue would have been ahead of you, but she would die before and instant cast could get there. You will get healed in your turn, if I can, regardless of how many times you “cry out for healing”.

Oh, and I know it involved pushing a button and wiggling the mouse a little bit, but hows about a table Mr. Mage?

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Last but not least comes the wonderfully helpful kitty Druid, the one henceforth known as “Asscat”, since it rhymes with asshat, and thats what you were.

You want to forget to throw Druid buffs after a wipe? Fine. I can heal without it.

You want to go charging off before I can get enough mana back to top off the group before the next fight? Um, ok… thats on you I guess.

You feel the need to Innervate the Mage when I am sucking fumes with all my cooldowns burned? Well, if you like dirt naps, I suppose that makes sense.

When I start taking offense Mr. Asscat is when your dual feral spec self decides to call me out as a failure and claim to be able to do a better job. You opened that can of worms and got exactly what you asked for.

Thirty seconds later I was standing there in shadow form telling you to prove it.

A few seconds later I was vote kicked by the fail pug and they went in search of their fourth healer.

I felt sorry for the next guy.

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On a random side note. Running an instance with a group of raving asshats actually had some value.

It makes all the runs with normal folks just out to have a bit of fun and farm up some badges far more enjoyable.

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