This just in


Breaking news:

Buzzard Entertainment has announced that the next expansion of the popular MMORPG World ‘o Warcrack will be “The Rescue of the Lollipop Kingdom” (TRotLK for short). It will contain many changes aimed at providing a wholesome and rewarding MMO experience for all ages. Here are some highlights from a recent interview about the expansion.

All classes will have all those complicated old abilities replaced with a new spell titled “iPwn” (it’s icon is a white apple). This spell will be bound to the number 1 key by default. It is an area of effect spell with the following four effects.

  • All hostile targets within the area are overcome with the need to dance, in effect stunning them while providing a floor show. At the end of this effect the bad guy will be tired and take a nap (complete with a pillow and blankie) allowing the players to take his loot without harming him.
  • Upon waking they have no memory of the players, making them neutral.
  • All friendly targets within the area will he instantly healed to full health.
  • All friendly targets will also receive the “happy” buff. it’s only effect is to put a smile on everyones face.

In past expansions we have noticed a tendancy to overreact to balance changes in the arena. This ranged from complaints to people simply no longer playing them. In an effort to balance the classes for arena play this new expansion will have a major reworking of the way arena play will work. In addition we will be introducing a new arena setting, the playground. We think it will be a big hit.

  • At the beginning of each match all players will be placed inside a protective padded suit, this will prevent all damage.
  • The ‘iPwn” button on the taskbar will be replaced by an arena specific spell called “Tag”.
  • The “It” debuff will randomly appear on one character, this character’s “Tag” button will then become active.
  • Arena matches will last 4 minutes.
  • Victory decided by which team was able to tag the other team “it” the most times.
  • Ending the game with the “It” debuff will cause that character to receive the “sadface” debuff, becoming sad for 30 minutes. 

Also, while the new raid instances are still under development I can tell you this. You will be seeing some old friends in the “Gumdrop Castle”. This  introductory raid instance will feature such end bosses as Puff the Magic Dragon and the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man. Also at risk of revealing too much, I am really looking forward to a multi-boss encounter reminiscent of the four horseman in Naxx featuring the Power Rangers.

This introductory raid will help players gear up in a cheerful color coordinated fashion for the next raid.  I can’t really confirm any details as it is very early in development.  I can say that the efforts to keep all of the Lollipop Kingdom from getting a case of the grumpies will continue when the gates of the Gingerbread Fortress open in patch 4.1.

We are truly excited about the upcoming content, and think you will be as well.

More details as they become available, but expect a major announcement at Buzzard-con later this year.

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3 Responses

  1. ROFLMAOAMG

    Hahahahahaha

    Awesome. This post is pure Win.

  2. […] talked about my thoughts on Blizzards next MMO in a rather tongue in cheek way with this just in , and more seriously with thoughts on Blizzards next gen […]

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