I would rant, but the letter Q is on backorder


There has been quite enough screaming and yelling about the escapades of various bloggers (myself included) in the new looking for group feature. Face it, fail pugs make more interesting writing that the ones that go incredibly smooth.

In fact there has been so much QQ that they had to ramp up Q production. I guess if nothing else it created a few jobs at the Q factory. Anyhow, in the interest of Q rationing this will not be a rant.

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I have been running the lower end instances lots lately. I actually find them quite fun, especially those that I have never actually run at level.

I have run as a healer on my baby Resto Shaman and as a tank on my Paladin.  The things I have seen make me want to write out a macro for my healer, I think it might get a bit long though.

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The Healer macro would go something like this:

Hello, I will be your healer for todays dungeon run. As you familiarize yourself with your surroundings please take a moment to glance at the health bars to the left of your screen.  familiarize yourself with their location, you will need to glance up there occasionally throughout the run.

Under the green bar representing my health there is a blue bar. That is my mana, and it represents your health. If it falls to zero while bad things are trying to eat your face off you will die. Kindly pause a moment in between pulls to allow me to drink it back full.

If you want you can just think of it as my water gauge, it is blue afterall.

As you are pounding on the bad things so that we can go through their pockets and look for loot please glance occasionally at the health bars. ideally you will see the tanks slowly rise and fall and that is about it.

If you are not the tank yet yours is falling you have attracted the attention of something that is now beating on you. I suggest locating the tank and running in his direction so he can peel it off you before it finishes digging out your spleen. He will be easy to locate, look for a large skull floating over a monster and you will find him beating on that one.

If mine is falling something has gotten loose and has proceeded to start gnawing on my knickers. This makes me grumpy, as getting blood stains out of this resto gear is a royal pain. Should this happen I will run up to the tank and flail about like someone who just won the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

Think of it as a delivery service with a floor show.

So long as we all work together to keep all the bad things that the tank pulls beating on just the tank you may rest assured that  I will be doing my utmost to keep us all alive. That is what I’m here for after all.

Alrighty, buffs are passed out and my pre-dungeon snack looks like it got  my water gauge to full again.

If you would please buckle your seatbelts and return your tray tables to their original upright positions we can get this party started.

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Maybe I’ll sit down and write one up for my tank too, but thats a tale for another day.

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4 Responses

  1. Nice!

    I know what you are saying about raids that go smoothly… some of them go so well you almost feel like you are somehow cheating or running old content.

  2. I love it! At one time I had a healer macro that stated:

    “Hello, I am Khraden and I will be patching up that gaping hole in your stomach this evening. Please feel free to hit things as hard as you want; however, if you are doing so while your shoelaces catch fire, please do not expect expedited bandaids. Thank you…”

  3. I made myself a handy mana macro, because even the low level dungeon runners are pulling like ulduar-and-beyond geared tanks and expecting the same kind of heals.

    “Mana Mana do do de doo doo”
    :)

  4. Love it! I think all warriors and misc tanks should be required to have a mage on their account (whom they play regularly), so they will be aware of mana user needs.

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